The art of taking a break from things
and not feeling guilty about it
Hi! This is Leyla from A Day Well Spent, a newsletter seeking pathways to more purposeful living.
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The extended break
Towards the end of last year and well into the start of this one, I spent almost two months in South America. I was away for just over seven weeks in total, from mid December until the start of February.
Two of those weeks was a holiday in the traditional sense in that I was not working, I was travelling to different places and I was having new and exciting experiences (in the Amazon jungle and up Machu Picchu, no less — it was special).
But for the rest of that time, I was just – taking a break from my usual London life.
I was still working (albeit less than usual because of Christmas and New Year), still exercising, still cooking meals in our Buenos Aires AirBnB. Many things were business as usual.
But just being somewhere else meant I was enforcing a break from so much of my ordinary, day-to-day. For example, from the dreary grey UK winter, from household chores (not my house, much less bothered by mess), from my usual surroundings, my usual food, even from emails.
The out of office I set on 10th December read:
I am out of the country for an extended period over the festive holidays and new year, with intermittent access to email. I will only be responding to urgent emails during this time. I will be back in the office in February 2025.
This extended end of year break is something I’ve done for the past four years. Each time I’ve returned back home to London in late winter absolutely freezing my socks off, but otherwise feeling refreshed and revitalised and with a new perspective on things.
And my creativity always feels super charged, like it’s put on a new pair of skates and is raring to go. It’s only really after this break that I feel suitably prepared in mind, body and spirit to embark on the new calendar year.
Why I do this
Part of the reason I do this is because I straight up just don’t like being cold. Winter in the UK is not for me; I am basically a cat always chasing warmth and sunshine.
But whilst ‘taking a break’ is often associated with physically and mentally resting or doing very little (these kinds of breaks are essential to wellbeing too), that’s not really the reason I take breaks from things.
I do it because I have a need to regularly shake things up in my life.
Taking a break from whatever is my usual norm shifts my brain out of disengaged autopilot mode and into one of openness and curiosity. I am more awake, more aware. It also prevents my days melting together into an undefined smudge, which can easily lead to the feeling of time passing too quickly.
“Sometimes a break from your routine is the very thing you need.”
— unknown
When I’m travelling I notice that I notice things more. I’m not just looking but I’m actually seeing.
How interesting that people board the bus here by the rear door only! I wonder why the manhole covers all have this specific motif? Isn’t it funny how so many people carry around a flask of hot water wherever they go?
I believe this is because I’m in unfamiliar surroundings and so my brain is firing those synapses more than usual, rather than being half asleep and just going through the motions.
I'm pretty sure I don't notice the manhole covers in London.
Science also confirms the benefits of taking a hiatus from your typical reality.
Researchers from New York University and University of Miami found that having new and diverse experiences is linked to positive emotions and enhanced happiness.
This CNBC article speaks to Catherine Hartley, study author and assistant professor of psychology and neural science at New York University, and explains the neurological reason why variety makes us happy:
The hippocampus, which is a part of the brain that is involved in spatial navigation and memory formation, “is also sensitive to the novelty of spatial environments,” Hartley says. Another part of the brain, called the striatum, helps us evaluate our environment and processes reward.
The activity in these areas of the brain tends to be more synchronized in people who explore new things daily, and has a stronger influence on their mood, Hartley says.
What other people think
The first year I took that extended winter break, I felt a bit apprehensive about letting people know.
Hi guys, I’m not going to be available for in person stuff for 2 months – hope that’s OK!
Would people label me as “difficult to work with”? Might friends and family get upset if I was to just up and leave and not be available over the festive holidays?
It turned out no one really minded and now everyone is used to my annual sojourn. Also, it was only a few weeks – in the grand scheme of things, this is a short amount of time.
Things I take pause from
There are lots of ways in which I incorporate time away from things in my life. The one I would say is most impactful and frequent is the practice that helps me fulfil my potential, which I implement each Friday.
I also take a one week break from posting on this newsletter after every eight weeks, to give both myself and my readers some space to breathe. I had a longer newsletter writing break over the two months I was away where I instead hosted a guest writer season (it worked really well; I’ll be making this an annual thing).
I haven’t posted any videos and only a handful of stories to my Instagram account for over a month – no particular reason. This year I’m taking a break from gardening. I even took a break the summer after I got married by heading to Barcelona solo for five weeks, just because it was something I had always wanted to do.
My husband was allowed to visit for one weekend only.
Taking a break doesn’t mean you don’t care
It’s pretty easy to feel guilty about lots of things in life and doing things for ourselves is often one of them.
But taking intentional time out from something – be it a career, a person, a way of living, the news – doesn’t mean we are quitting it, failing at it or running away from it. It should be considered a normal part of life.
Whatever it is, have a day / week / month / year off!
Because can we really be expected to go through the same monotonous motions and be exposed to the same things, indefinitely? Wouldn’t this make most people insane?
I think we have a fear of being forgotten about or no longer being relevant if we are not seen to be accessible, available and saying yes to everything, all of the time. But if someone forgets about you and what you do because you haven’t been “online” then perhaps they’re not worth much of your time in the first place.
For example, I have never watched anyone’s stories on Instagram and I also stopped commenting under the posts of people I know a couple of years ago. I still enjoy the platform and I like creating on it, I just wanted to be on it less.
And if you comment on one person’s post, you have to comment on everyone’s — right? I do not have the bandwidth for that (does anyone?). Better to just stay off it as much as possible and not comment at all, I thought.
When I made this decision, I did wonder if my peers would think I was being rude, aloof, didn’t care what they were up to or maybe even didn’t like them anymore, if I was no longer engaging with their content.
But then I thought, the people I know who are worth knowing are not basic enough to really believe this. And it turns out, I was (mostly) right.
Time outs should be accessible for all
I know taking breaks to the extent I do – be it from our environments, work, routine, responsibilities – is uncommon. Some would argue a lot of it is out of reach for most. But I don’t think it has to be. It should be normalised, accommodated for and even encouraged.
For this reason, I am a big fan of work sabbaticals. And yet I know there are so many people who are eligible for these but don’t actually take them even if they can afford them, which feels like a crying shame.
You don’t need to take a gap year or do anything flash or spendy to justify cashing it in. You could instead spend some of your savings to simply sustain yourself / your dependents during the sabbatical and use your time to follow your curiosity, start a project you’ve been toying with, volunteer, spend more time with family – anything you want.
And if your work doesn’t offer sabbaticals, you should ask them why not and send them this Harvard Business Review article on the transformative power of sabbaticals.
You can also incorporate much smaller day-to-day time outs that can be sufficient enough to reboot the brain. Work from a different desk, take a different route, find small ways to break away from your usual routine.
If you work for yourself or you’re freelance (as I am), then you are responsible for creating your own working life breaks. Because no one else is going to do it for you. And whilst freelance life has its own challenges, one of the perks is you can kinda do what you want.
I also love how the Substack platform is designed to allow creators to take breaks when they need to, by pausing payments. And I love it when people unashamedly take the break that they need. Be it
taking her newsletter hiatus to recover from burnout or taking maternity leave from her Substack (she’s back now!).It should also be OK to take a break because you just want to too, not only because you are scraping the dregs of your final reserves and physically need to.
Do things because you want to do them
I also believe doing things for the sake of it or from a place of duty only, and not because you actually want to do it, is not a great place to do anything from.
I also think it’s quite obvious; it’s noticeable when someone isn’t having a great time doing the thing they are doing. Surely better to take a break from the thing, top up your reserves of inspiration and motivation and return to it anew.
Back to Buenos Aires to close.
My husband was looking for a gym to sign up to in the city for the weeks we were there. And not a single one of them he came across – not one – were open on Sundays.
We initially thought, this is barmy. People need to be able to workout on Sundays!
But then I appreciated the situation for what it was – an industry and culture enforcing taking breaks from working out, even. Bravo to the Argentinians.