Last week my car broke down on a major 3 lane motorway, and then, of course it started torrentially raining. I had my hazard lights on but I was just on the other side of a crest and cars were having to change lanes to avoid me. It was quite stressful and there was little I could do.
While sat there, a car of 4 young people (no older than 20) safely parked their car and in a break in the traffic, in the pouring rain helped push my car off the road and up onto the kerb so I was in a safer position.
They did this for me, a complete stranger, just to help. By doing so they also kept other drivers on the road safe too.
It restored my faith in humanity in a huge way, I am so grateful ♥️
Oh my goodness, that sounds like a quite terrifying situation to be in, Hannah! And knowing what the car of young people did to help has given me goosebumps :) Thank you for sharing this.
I was a rep in the interior design business, and had to pick up carpet samples at FedEx on Times Square before getting downtown to the North Tower of the World Trade Center, 86th Floor (!) for a meeting with the architect of the Newark International Airport International Terminal, for which I was writing the carpet order. I had a big bag, my purse and the samples when I loaded myself into a taxi.
Half way to the WTC, I realized my purse was missing. This was before cell phones. I managed to get through the meeting, rushed downstairs, went to the pay phone area and dialed my home number voice mail (with the change from the bottom of my big sample bag - thank God I'm not very organized) on the miniscule chance that someone had found my purse and wanted to return it. My business cards were in there, and those had my phone number on them.
Someone had called.
It was the head minister of a homeless shelter on Times Square. He said my purse had been found on the corner of 42nd and Broadway, that I could come by anytime to collect it.
I rushed back to mid-town. The minister greeted me at the door, and asked me some precursory questions about the contents of my purse before sitting me down.
"Now listen, the person who found your purse lives here. He's homeless. He's been off of drugs for about 8 weeks and is really trying to turn his life around."
I asked if I could meet him.
He came down to the main lobby, a slight looking very polite man, and shook my hand warmly. He said, "All I could think was about how scared you must have been when you realized your purse was gone. I've lost everything out there; I know how scary and lonely it makes a person feel." I took the wallet out of my purse - all the money was still in there - and gave him the money. "No, please, it's ok. I don't want..."
I was bawling my eyes out by now. I pleaded with him to take the money. He took a twenty. He said that was enough. We embraced warmly and I wished him every good thing the world could hold.
I wish I could have kept in touch with him. I think of him so often. An angel on the streets of Times Square.
Not like me, I arrived at the airport far too early. The Hogueras midsummer festival was on, meaning that the city centre was closed, so the airport bus had been diverted, so I gave myself plenty time. But it all went like clockwork so I was far too early. So I looked around to see if there was any space outside the airport where one could sit in the shade. I spotted a nice curved bench with overhanging branches that looked perfect. Only trouble was, it was the “designated smoking area”. Was it acceptable? Well, the only guy there was vaping, and the only woman was in a wheelchair, maybe trying to sleep so I sat down and drank my water and eat my piece.
What I great time I’d had; I felt refreshed and stronger, if a bit tired. I’d got to know our neighbours Kaisa and Derrek better, and was impressed at how they took care of people and planet. Proper decent people you felt you had a lot in common with.
My thoughts were interrupted by what at first glance I took to be a typical wee wiry ned (probably Scottish?). He pointed at me and the woman behind in the wheelchair: “Is she allright?” I looked round and saw that the woman appeared to have managed to fall asleep, or was it unconscious? She was laying sideways, like a toddler in a pushchair. “Peor” I mumbled hoping the problem would go away. The Scottish ned did scarper, and I went back to my own thoughts. What had I thought of her, when I’d glanced over? Youngish, dishevelled, probably her isolation and disability was caused by a chaotic lifestyle, drink and drugs. Not a “deserving poor”, best kept a safe distance away from. I probably thought quite a lot of these things.
As I got up to go into the terminal process, the Scottish git came back, with a member of staff from the airport, who took control of the situation and engaged with the lady, with the help of the “ned”.
Why had he been willing to help, while I tried to ignore her? And if my assessment was right and she was the source of her own troubles, does that mean she’s not deserving of basic human curtesy? And the good samaritan ned, why hadn’t I spoken more than a word to him? later on, I saw him in one of the many queues, and I thought to go over and say sorry, thanks well done, but before i could get there, he got into an argument with security at passport control, and I kept my distance.
Its tempting to blame the dehumanising process of air travel these days, when its easier just to put shutters up and endure rather than interact. But perhaps judgements are also to blame; they can keep us safe but isolation spreads like a virus creating a careless society. What was it I thought I had in common with Kaisia and Derrek again?
Thank you for your honesty with this, Ken. I think we are all guilty of making those assumptions sometimes, it's human nature. I love your analysis of it thought and also your learnings from it. Also, I obviously love the term 'Scottish ned', even if I don't exactly know what that means 😅
I live in on a street of homes that has apartments behind it. A couple of weeks ago, a woman in her 80s was walking her small dog and when I pulled into my street she was lying on the pavement bleeding. I wasn’t sure if she was alive. She’d fallen trying to walk down the hill part of the road. As soon as I got to her I saw a man and yelled for help. Multiple neighbors heard me and came over. Together we worked to find this woman’s family and she then got to the hospital. I learned she broke her pelvic area but also learned if the neighborhood didn’t act as fast as we did, she may not have lived. Divine intervention and the right people at the right time were there. I met so many lovely people that day and my faith in humanity was magnified.
Thanks Leyla for providing this platform. I ran into your previous note yesterday and was led here. Wow, all the amazing stories! Before sharing my stories, just to say something about "I always try to remember: people are fundamentally good" at the end of your writing. If we feel the world's getting worse, could it be because what we read, traditional and social media often focus on negative news because it grabs more attention, spreads faster, and keeps people engaged? It's just like you won't be able to find flowers for sale in a bakery because bread is what they make. So don't lose faith.
Re your theme, 4 little stories popped out in my head.
1. Roadside kindness
Years ago, my car broke down on my way to work. I panicked when realising it wouldn't start after the light turned green, and I was the first in the line. A man drove up and helped to tow my car to a service centre nearby. I asked for his number so that I could thank him properly afterwards but he just left. All I know is his name-Roy. I will remember your kindness forever Roy.
2. Local's kindness
My partner first arrived at a new country, completely lost after departing the ferry. A man patiently told him how to get to his destination. After finding out that he was still confused, the man simply guided him all the way to the end and waved him goodbye. My partner was stoked for the stranger's kindness and left really good impression.
3. Neighbour's kindness
A couple of years ago, a woman from the same street suddenly told me she had just separated with her partner and was feeling terrible after I greeted her as usual. We actually were just greeting neighbours then. I offered to accompany her and be all ears that afternoon, after grabbing some drink snacks from home, as I could see she needed to talk and she had a bottle of wine in her hand.
4. Stranger's kindness
I was on a high speed train and accidentally found a note on the vomit bag (new). It's random stranger passenger kindness message on it, read like "Hello dear stranger, How are you? If you are doing well, I'm happy for you. If not, I send you my best wishes. All hardship will be over. And you'll be proud of yourself when you look back afterwards. " I felt really warm even I was doing alright then. And I added my bit before putting it back for the next stranger.
Humanity is in the kindness regardless its size. I feel really good after greeting or smiling or nodding to a stranger. Or the other way around. I think both givers and receivers benefit, like the saying ""Giving roses to others leaves a lingering fragrance in your hand."
And oh my, I LOVE these!! I especially love number 4!! I actually have about 100 postcards leftover from my recent debut book sale (postcard art came with each copy) and I've been wondering what to do with them. I'm thinking of just writing notes on them and leaving them in random places. I think your story has sealed that deal for me, thank you!
I was pumping gas one morning-down the street from my son’s elementary school. This woman-very nicely dressed-walked up to me. She was sobbing. She said ‘ My dad just died and I just needed to tell someone what a great man he was.’ Just like that. Random and out of the blue. I asked her if I could give her a hug. She said ‘Yes’. We stood there-complete strangers- embracing in the gas station. And as she continued to sob- I told her that she was too was great. And that her father was with her. She thanked me. And that was it. This was about 7 years ago. I never forgot that moment. I hope that woman is doing well wherever she is. ❤️
I’m leaving a comment below…but it’s actually a visual response! I recently did a painting called Empathy Looks On which touches on all that is being said. Here’s a link in to it so you can see it:
I painted this image because I’ve been thinking about empathy a lot lately, given the state of the world (on so many levels). The painting changes depending on the angle light hits it (see the Timelapse video in the post). This is something I feel is very true of our capacity to feel empathy. So much depends on the ‘light’ in which we see others, in which we view situations. Our ability to feel empathy can also shift and fluctuate depending on our own emotional state, particularly when we are experiencing emotional drain or are being overwhelmed by the many things that ask us to have empathy. Practicing empathy is a constant, difficult process, no matter what ‘kind of person’ you are. While having empathy may be a natural human tendency, there are so many ways it can be stifled, even in a person who is very empathetic.
Best wishes to everyone who is trying to understand their understanding of empathy, in themselves and in others!
I was struggling to find my card at the self check out in a supermarket recently. I tipped my bag out and was getting more flustered by the minute, as was the payment machine, it seemed. A lady opposite had packed her shopping and was leaving and on her way out she tapped her card on the self pay console, without saying anything. I was utterly flabbergasted! I blabbed something incomprehensible to her. ‘Pay it forward’ she said, ‘when you bet the chance’ and she left, whilst I scrabbled to get my shopping packed through watery eyes.
Thanks. You don’t always know what impact you have on someone, but seeing all these comments confirm that ripples do keep moving outwards. Thanks for sharing and putting some positivity in the world, Leyla.
YES people NEED story of humanity and empathy, because there are so many bad things everyday.
One day in the store we found two wallets it wasn’t the first time, it’s an habits of thieves in Italy they push u when u are inside a store if is very full of people so u think it’s normal, then they stole the wallet, they take the money and left the wallet in another store.
So sometimes we found it, we always try to contact the person so they haven’t to make the documents again.
One day I used the social like always to contact a woman inside the wallet there were her documents and the one of her daughter.
I thought I will contact her daughter she is 25, for sure she has to be very active on social, but their page haven’t updated since two yrs before.
So I decided to contact the mother, who was extremely happy of my message, when she arrived inside the store she told her daughter was gone yrs before she had a car accident, when she lost the wallet she freaked out because of the documents of her girl.
When she was talking about her I think I stopped breathing and I held back the tears, luckily it was the end of my shift.
Another was during our holidays 2yrs ago in Fuerteventura, we took this messy street to reach Cofete finally we arrived at the parking that looked like a mirage.
U know one of those moments when u say something to ur husband, u knew u have 100% right but he doesn’t listen to u because he doesn’t understand why u are saying he has to stop the car.
And u know that u are going to have problems very soon, in this case our car had sunk into the sand… 😳😳 I had to try to stay calm and I said to him: “there was all the Parking available with rocks and u choose the sand?”.
I started pushing the car and like two sec later arrived this guy to help us 😍😍, without good results initially so he called his friends and in few minutes we were in 10 I think in front of the car pushing, and finally the car moved and Davide finally parked in the zone with the rocks.
I wanted treat them with beers or other things, but unfortunately the nearest cafe was at some km from there, and we didn’t want to make that street again until evening. But I was so sad I couldn’t treat them in some way.
There are thousands of small gestures we can do for others, even holding a door would be a very good thing, or helping someone with the suitcase etc. I always left a small present for the staff of the hotel the day of checkout, like a small box of chocolate nothing expensive only a small thing to say Thank u!
I had other times when nobody helped me even if I needed, so reading of ur simply filled my heart.
YES are small things to do but from the other side are BIG things, the perception changes when we receiving that gesture.
In ur case darl, yes is also a small thing giving a tissue, but in that moment there was a broken soul who needed help, no one was helping him and he received human contact in one of the worst moment of his life. And I know that if u had been without the tissue u would have asked someone else for it and then given it to him.
Honestly now I hope he is on substack and that he will receive all this love.
I’m also pretty sure where ever is his friend now he is smiling, because he received love when he needed and because even if the death is of course sad he created this tsunami of love.
Lauraaaaaaaaaa, I love these!! Oh my goodness, the mother with her daughter's documents in it. That would have meant such an enormous amount to her. And the people who helped you with the car - wow ❤️ And leaving gifts for the hotel staff - YESSSSS! This is a such great idea. I'm going to start doing this!! ❤️❤️❤️
For us was really a big moment listening the story of her daughter. And the guys who helped us also saved the life of Davide I thought to kill him 🤣🤣🤣🤪.
For the hotel I always left something small like max 4-5€ for a box of candy of chocolate, but if I left the bathtub dirty after one of the Lush bombs I go to take a tray of brioche or donuts to say “I’m sorry I know it is a mess” like once I used one that was full of glitter, I tried to clean the bathtub but it needed more work to be well cleaned. I also leave a small message of thanking, the message is always different based on my or our experience.
Last week I was flying from Luton to Paris to see my daughter whom I don’t get to spend much time with now as she’s relocated to Costa Rica.
Maybe the fact that I was travelling to meet her was highlighting my ‘mother hen’ feelings, I don’t know; anyhow, as we all settled on the plane preparing to take off the lady in front of me was visibly distressed and I overheard her say she was scared of flying, and hadn’t done so for 18 years. I could see she was crying as we took off, her husband & son were trying to make her feel more comfortable. When the drinks trolley came round she asked for a glass of wine, saying “is it too early ?” but they only take cards on the plane and for some reason theirs wouldn’t work. So I bought her a drink, and she/they were SO grateful, and I felt better too.
Then, at Charles de Gaulle, a young lady was panicking, again there were tears, because she couldn’t change her money because they required the passport of an adult ( she was obviously under 18, although she looked 18 ! ) There was an airline person saying she had 8 minutes till her flight closed for boarding. I asked if I could change the money, they said yes, and hopefully she made her plane.
Fantastic work, Lee! As so many people have said under that Note, the rewards of being kind far outweigh any inconveniences we might have experienced doing the kind deed, which often aren't really inconveniences at all in the first place.
17 years ago, I was in my last trimester of pregnancy, on my way home on a packed jubilee line carriage. I asked a seated man if he minded moving his bags a smidge so I could stand without falling over (wasn’t asking for a seat). He looked at me like I was a piece of chewing gum on his shoe and said ‘it’s not my fault you’re pregnant…’ and looked away. Suddenly a bloke further down the carriage yelled at the man to “f***ing give the pregnant lady the seat!!” What followed was a blur as different people from both sides of the carriage got up to allow me to sit! For a moment I felt a sense of communal protection that day by the random stranger who didn’t know me but felt he should speak up. Forever grateful.
Also… it might not be an act of kindness per se but I cannot abide by the myth that Londoners are an unfriendly bunch.. so I go out of my way to say hello to people when I’m out and about, and I even compliment people if I think it’s appropriate to do so. My thinking is that that person can’t then go home and say no one smiles at you or is nice to you in London, because I broke that cycle if only for a moment!
I would done the same, this things close me a vein* and I react immediately if I see something wrong or an unkind persons. Anyway Londoner are so funny, I always found great people in each travel, I always remember the guy who worked for the Tube (apparently everything happen in the tube) was my first day in London I payed with cash the ticket, I haven’t the Oyster card yet and the machine gave to me only coins, he asked me why I payed with cash and then he said louder “JACK POT THE GIRL WIN ALL” and we started laughing.
*close a vein could be an Italian way of saying, it means something so unacceptable for u that u have to intervene immediately to stop it.
Yes Archana, bring kindness into the spaces where it's not even expected! Interacting with people on the tube totally counts. I always feel a bit floored when someone smiles at me on the tube. It makes me smile. Which makes others smile, and I'd like to think that chain goes on forever!! Also how nice of that man to speak up :)
Once in my late twenties I'd had a horrible argument with a boyfriend and I knew it was about to be over. I held it together until I said goodbye to him, but as soon as he left I burst into tears in the middle of the pavement. How embarrassing. I was next to Oval tube in the depths of South London, but three separate strangers all dropped what they were doing (one middle-aged lady literally dropped her shopping) and rushed over to comfort me. It was so kind of them.
Someone once randomly taped a £5 note to my bike with a lovely note wishing me a good day and asking me to pay kindness forward when I next could whilst it was parked outside in London. It wasn’t the money that made the difference just the fact someone went out of their way to do something entirely nice for a random stranger that they never met - they were gone when I arrived so I suspect they never saw the results of their own good work.
Last week my car broke down on a major 3 lane motorway, and then, of course it started torrentially raining. I had my hazard lights on but I was just on the other side of a crest and cars were having to change lanes to avoid me. It was quite stressful and there was little I could do.
While sat there, a car of 4 young people (no older than 20) safely parked their car and in a break in the traffic, in the pouring rain helped push my car off the road and up onto the kerb so I was in a safer position.
They did this for me, a complete stranger, just to help. By doing so they also kept other drivers on the road safe too.
It restored my faith in humanity in a huge way, I am so grateful ♥️
Oh my goodness, that sounds like a quite terrifying situation to be in, Hannah! And knowing what the car of young people did to help has given me goosebumps :) Thank you for sharing this.
1992, Manhattan.
I was a rep in the interior design business, and had to pick up carpet samples at FedEx on Times Square before getting downtown to the North Tower of the World Trade Center, 86th Floor (!) for a meeting with the architect of the Newark International Airport International Terminal, for which I was writing the carpet order. I had a big bag, my purse and the samples when I loaded myself into a taxi.
Half way to the WTC, I realized my purse was missing. This was before cell phones. I managed to get through the meeting, rushed downstairs, went to the pay phone area and dialed my home number voice mail (with the change from the bottom of my big sample bag - thank God I'm not very organized) on the miniscule chance that someone had found my purse and wanted to return it. My business cards were in there, and those had my phone number on them.
Someone had called.
It was the head minister of a homeless shelter on Times Square. He said my purse had been found on the corner of 42nd and Broadway, that I could come by anytime to collect it.
I rushed back to mid-town. The minister greeted me at the door, and asked me some precursory questions about the contents of my purse before sitting me down.
"Now listen, the person who found your purse lives here. He's homeless. He's been off of drugs for about 8 weeks and is really trying to turn his life around."
I asked if I could meet him.
He came down to the main lobby, a slight looking very polite man, and shook my hand warmly. He said, "All I could think was about how scared you must have been when you realized your purse was gone. I've lost everything out there; I know how scary and lonely it makes a person feel." I took the wallet out of my purse - all the money was still in there - and gave him the money. "No, please, it's ok. I don't want..."
I was bawling my eyes out by now. I pleaded with him to take the money. He took a twenty. He said that was enough. We embraced warmly and I wished him every good thing the world could hold.
I wish I could have kept in touch with him. I think of him so often. An angel on the streets of Times Square.
NOT ME SWALLOWING DOWN TEARS ON THE TRAIN DIANA 🥹😭🥹😭💓🥹😭🥹😭 An absolutely perfect and intensely beautiful story.
Leyla, I just want to add that this was very much one of my life's defining moments. It changed me.
That visual makes me love you even more.
Judgements on leaving Spain
Not like me, I arrived at the airport far too early. The Hogueras midsummer festival was on, meaning that the city centre was closed, so the airport bus had been diverted, so I gave myself plenty time. But it all went like clockwork so I was far too early. So I looked around to see if there was any space outside the airport where one could sit in the shade. I spotted a nice curved bench with overhanging branches that looked perfect. Only trouble was, it was the “designated smoking area”. Was it acceptable? Well, the only guy there was vaping, and the only woman was in a wheelchair, maybe trying to sleep so I sat down and drank my water and eat my piece.
What I great time I’d had; I felt refreshed and stronger, if a bit tired. I’d got to know our neighbours Kaisa and Derrek better, and was impressed at how they took care of people and planet. Proper decent people you felt you had a lot in common with.
My thoughts were interrupted by what at first glance I took to be a typical wee wiry ned (probably Scottish?). He pointed at me and the woman behind in the wheelchair: “Is she allright?” I looked round and saw that the woman appeared to have managed to fall asleep, or was it unconscious? She was laying sideways, like a toddler in a pushchair. “Peor” I mumbled hoping the problem would go away. The Scottish ned did scarper, and I went back to my own thoughts. What had I thought of her, when I’d glanced over? Youngish, dishevelled, probably her isolation and disability was caused by a chaotic lifestyle, drink and drugs. Not a “deserving poor”, best kept a safe distance away from. I probably thought quite a lot of these things.
As I got up to go into the terminal process, the Scottish git came back, with a member of staff from the airport, who took control of the situation and engaged with the lady, with the help of the “ned”.
Why had he been willing to help, while I tried to ignore her? And if my assessment was right and she was the source of her own troubles, does that mean she’s not deserving of basic human curtesy? And the good samaritan ned, why hadn’t I spoken more than a word to him? later on, I saw him in one of the many queues, and I thought to go over and say sorry, thanks well done, but before i could get there, he got into an argument with security at passport control, and I kept my distance.
Its tempting to blame the dehumanising process of air travel these days, when its easier just to put shutters up and endure rather than interact. But perhaps judgements are also to blame; they can keep us safe but isolation spreads like a virus creating a careless society. What was it I thought I had in common with Kaisia and Derrek again?
Thank you for your honesty with this, Ken. I think we are all guilty of making those assumptions sometimes, it's human nature. I love your analysis of it thought and also your learnings from it. Also, I obviously love the term 'Scottish ned', even if I don't exactly know what that means 😅
I live in on a street of homes that has apartments behind it. A couple of weeks ago, a woman in her 80s was walking her small dog and when I pulled into my street she was lying on the pavement bleeding. I wasn’t sure if she was alive. She’d fallen trying to walk down the hill part of the road. As soon as I got to her I saw a man and yelled for help. Multiple neighbors heard me and came over. Together we worked to find this woman’s family and she then got to the hospital. I learned she broke her pelvic area but also learned if the neighborhood didn’t act as fast as we did, she may not have lived. Divine intervention and the right people at the right time were there. I met so many lovely people that day and my faith in humanity was magnified.
Moments like these when humanity rallies together for the good of someone else are the absolute BEST. All the goosebumps. Thank you for sharing this!
Thanks Leyla for providing this platform. I ran into your previous note yesterday and was led here. Wow, all the amazing stories! Before sharing my stories, just to say something about "I always try to remember: people are fundamentally good" at the end of your writing. If we feel the world's getting worse, could it be because what we read, traditional and social media often focus on negative news because it grabs more attention, spreads faster, and keeps people engaged? It's just like you won't be able to find flowers for sale in a bakery because bread is what they make. So don't lose faith.
Re your theme, 4 little stories popped out in my head.
1. Roadside kindness
Years ago, my car broke down on my way to work. I panicked when realising it wouldn't start after the light turned green, and I was the first in the line. A man drove up and helped to tow my car to a service centre nearby. I asked for his number so that I could thank him properly afterwards but he just left. All I know is his name-Roy. I will remember your kindness forever Roy.
2. Local's kindness
My partner first arrived at a new country, completely lost after departing the ferry. A man patiently told him how to get to his destination. After finding out that he was still confused, the man simply guided him all the way to the end and waved him goodbye. My partner was stoked for the stranger's kindness and left really good impression.
3. Neighbour's kindness
A couple of years ago, a woman from the same street suddenly told me she had just separated with her partner and was feeling terrible after I greeted her as usual. We actually were just greeting neighbours then. I offered to accompany her and be all ears that afternoon, after grabbing some drink snacks from home, as I could see she needed to talk and she had a bottle of wine in her hand.
4. Stranger's kindness
I was on a high speed train and accidentally found a note on the vomit bag (new). It's random stranger passenger kindness message on it, read like "Hello dear stranger, How are you? If you are doing well, I'm happy for you. If not, I send you my best wishes. All hardship will be over. And you'll be proud of yourself when you look back afterwards. " I felt really warm even I was doing alright then. And I added my bit before putting it back for the next stranger.
Humanity is in the kindness regardless its size. I feel really good after greeting or smiling or nodding to a stranger. Or the other way around. I think both givers and receivers benefit, like the saying ""Giving roses to others leaves a lingering fragrance in your hand."
Be the change I want to see ❤️
Hi Li! Thank you for this considerate comment. I agree with you about negative news, I actually wrote a post about this a while ago: https://leylakazim.substack.com/p/why-i-dont-watch-the-news.
And oh my, I LOVE these!! I especially love number 4!! I actually have about 100 postcards leftover from my recent debut book sale (postcard art came with each copy) and I've been wondering what to do with them. I'm thinking of just writing notes on them and leaving them in random places. I think your story has sealed that deal for me, thank you!
BTW, I don't read/watch news either, for similar reasons, haha
Congratulations on your debut book sale! I love the way you plan to use the postcards. They are way~~~ better than vomit bags!
😅
I was pumping gas one morning-down the street from my son’s elementary school. This woman-very nicely dressed-walked up to me. She was sobbing. She said ‘ My dad just died and I just needed to tell someone what a great man he was.’ Just like that. Random and out of the blue. I asked her if I could give her a hug. She said ‘Yes’. We stood there-complete strangers- embracing in the gas station. And as she continued to sob- I told her that she was too was great. And that her father was with her. She thanked me. And that was it. This was about 7 years ago. I never forgot that moment. I hope that woman is doing well wherever she is. ❤️
Oh man, thank you for sharing Lisa 💔❤️💔❤️
I’m leaving a comment below…but it’s actually a visual response! I recently did a painting called Empathy Looks On which touches on all that is being said. Here’s a link in to it so you can see it:
https://www.patreon.com/posts/129128507?utm_campaign=postshare_creator
I painted this image because I’ve been thinking about empathy a lot lately, given the state of the world (on so many levels). The painting changes depending on the angle light hits it (see the Timelapse video in the post). This is something I feel is very true of our capacity to feel empathy. So much depends on the ‘light’ in which we see others, in which we view situations. Our ability to feel empathy can also shift and fluctuate depending on our own emotional state, particularly when we are experiencing emotional drain or are being overwhelmed by the many things that ask us to have empathy. Practicing empathy is a constant, difficult process, no matter what ‘kind of person’ you are. While having empathy may be a natural human tendency, there are so many ways it can be stifled, even in a person who is very empathetic.
Best wishes to everyone who is trying to understand their understanding of empathy, in themselves and in others!
I love it, Elise - thanks so much for sharing your art!
You’re welcome!
I was struggling to find my card at the self check out in a supermarket recently. I tipped my bag out and was getting more flustered by the minute, as was the payment machine, it seemed. A lady opposite had packed her shopping and was leaving and on her way out she tapped her card on the self pay console, without saying anything. I was utterly flabbergasted! I blabbed something incomprehensible to her. ‘Pay it forward’ she said, ‘when you bet the chance’ and she left, whilst I scrabbled to get my shopping packed through watery eyes.
oh my goodness!!! 🥹❤️ Thank you for sharing that. And have you managed to forward it on yet?
I gave someone my gloves on the train, bought a coffee for someone else and made up someone’s cash payment when they were short, so I hope so.
BEA-UTIFUL. And long may those ripples continue!!
Thanks. You don’t always know what impact you have on someone, but seeing all these comments confirm that ripples do keep moving outwards. Thanks for sharing and putting some positivity in the world, Leyla.
Hi Leyla and to everyone!
I LOVE this topic!
YES people NEED story of humanity and empathy, because there are so many bad things everyday.
One day in the store we found two wallets it wasn’t the first time, it’s an habits of thieves in Italy they push u when u are inside a store if is very full of people so u think it’s normal, then they stole the wallet, they take the money and left the wallet in another store.
So sometimes we found it, we always try to contact the person so they haven’t to make the documents again.
One day I used the social like always to contact a woman inside the wallet there were her documents and the one of her daughter.
I thought I will contact her daughter she is 25, for sure she has to be very active on social, but their page haven’t updated since two yrs before.
So I decided to contact the mother, who was extremely happy of my message, when she arrived inside the store she told her daughter was gone yrs before she had a car accident, when she lost the wallet she freaked out because of the documents of her girl.
When she was talking about her I think I stopped breathing and I held back the tears, luckily it was the end of my shift.
Another was during our holidays 2yrs ago in Fuerteventura, we took this messy street to reach Cofete finally we arrived at the parking that looked like a mirage.
U know one of those moments when u say something to ur husband, u knew u have 100% right but he doesn’t listen to u because he doesn’t understand why u are saying he has to stop the car.
And u know that u are going to have problems very soon, in this case our car had sunk into the sand… 😳😳 I had to try to stay calm and I said to him: “there was all the Parking available with rocks and u choose the sand?”.
I started pushing the car and like two sec later arrived this guy to help us 😍😍, without good results initially so he called his friends and in few minutes we were in 10 I think in front of the car pushing, and finally the car moved and Davide finally parked in the zone with the rocks.
I wanted treat them with beers or other things, but unfortunately the nearest cafe was at some km from there, and we didn’t want to make that street again until evening. But I was so sad I couldn’t treat them in some way.
There are thousands of small gestures we can do for others, even holding a door would be a very good thing, or helping someone with the suitcase etc. I always left a small present for the staff of the hotel the day of checkout, like a small box of chocolate nothing expensive only a small thing to say Thank u!
I had other times when nobody helped me even if I needed, so reading of ur simply filled my heart.
YES are small things to do but from the other side are BIG things, the perception changes when we receiving that gesture.
In ur case darl, yes is also a small thing giving a tissue, but in that moment there was a broken soul who needed help, no one was helping him and he received human contact in one of the worst moment of his life. And I know that if u had been without the tissue u would have asked someone else for it and then given it to him.
Honestly now I hope he is on substack and that he will receive all this love.
I’m also pretty sure where ever is his friend now he is smiling, because he received love when he needed and because even if the death is of course sad he created this tsunami of love.
Thanks for sharing darl!
Lauraaaaaaaaaa, I love these!! Oh my goodness, the mother with her daughter's documents in it. That would have meant such an enormous amount to her. And the people who helped you with the car - wow ❤️ And leaving gifts for the hotel staff - YESSSSS! This is a such great idea. I'm going to start doing this!! ❤️❤️❤️
For us was really a big moment listening the story of her daughter. And the guys who helped us also saved the life of Davide I thought to kill him 🤣🤣🤣🤪.
For the hotel I always left something small like max 4-5€ for a box of candy of chocolate, but if I left the bathtub dirty after one of the Lush bombs I go to take a tray of brioche or donuts to say “I’m sorry I know it is a mess” like once I used one that was full of glitter, I tried to clean the bathtub but it needed more work to be well cleaned. I also leave a small message of thanking, the message is always different based on my or our experience.
Thanks to u darl!
Last week I was flying from Luton to Paris to see my daughter whom I don’t get to spend much time with now as she’s relocated to Costa Rica.
Maybe the fact that I was travelling to meet her was highlighting my ‘mother hen’ feelings, I don’t know; anyhow, as we all settled on the plane preparing to take off the lady in front of me was visibly distressed and I overheard her say she was scared of flying, and hadn’t done so for 18 years. I could see she was crying as we took off, her husband & son were trying to make her feel more comfortable. When the drinks trolley came round she asked for a glass of wine, saying “is it too early ?” but they only take cards on the plane and for some reason theirs wouldn’t work. So I bought her a drink, and she/they were SO grateful, and I felt better too.
Then, at Charles de Gaulle, a young lady was panicking, again there were tears, because she couldn’t change her money because they required the passport of an adult ( she was obviously under 18, although she looked 18 ! ) There was an airline person saying she had 8 minutes till her flight closed for boarding. I asked if I could change the money, they said yes, and hopefully she made her plane.
That felt good too !
Fantastic work, Lee! As so many people have said under that Note, the rewards of being kind far outweigh any inconveniences we might have experienced doing the kind deed, which often aren't really inconveniences at all in the first place.
17 years ago, I was in my last trimester of pregnancy, on my way home on a packed jubilee line carriage. I asked a seated man if he minded moving his bags a smidge so I could stand without falling over (wasn’t asking for a seat). He looked at me like I was a piece of chewing gum on his shoe and said ‘it’s not my fault you’re pregnant…’ and looked away. Suddenly a bloke further down the carriage yelled at the man to “f***ing give the pregnant lady the seat!!” What followed was a blur as different people from both sides of the carriage got up to allow me to sit! For a moment I felt a sense of communal protection that day by the random stranger who didn’t know me but felt he should speak up. Forever grateful.
Also… it might not be an act of kindness per se but I cannot abide by the myth that Londoners are an unfriendly bunch.. so I go out of my way to say hello to people when I’m out and about, and I even compliment people if I think it’s appropriate to do so. My thinking is that that person can’t then go home and say no one smiles at you or is nice to you in London, because I broke that cycle if only for a moment!
I would done the same, this things close me a vein* and I react immediately if I see something wrong or an unkind persons. Anyway Londoner are so funny, I always found great people in each travel, I always remember the guy who worked for the Tube (apparently everything happen in the tube) was my first day in London I payed with cash the ticket, I haven’t the Oyster card yet and the machine gave to me only coins, he asked me why I payed with cash and then he said louder “JACK POT THE GIRL WIN ALL” and we started laughing.
*close a vein could be an Italian way of saying, it means something so unacceptable for u that u have to intervene immediately to stop it.
So many acts of kindness on the tube! 😌😌🥰
Yes Archana, bring kindness into the spaces where it's not even expected! Interacting with people on the tube totally counts. I always feel a bit floored when someone smiles at me on the tube. It makes me smile. Which makes others smile, and I'd like to think that chain goes on forever!! Also how nice of that man to speak up :)
I believe in the ripple effect ♥️
Once in my late twenties I'd had a horrible argument with a boyfriend and I knew it was about to be over. I held it together until I said goodbye to him, but as soon as he left I burst into tears in the middle of the pavement. How embarrassing. I was next to Oval tube in the depths of South London, but three separate strangers all dropped what they were doing (one middle-aged lady literally dropped her shopping) and rushed over to comfort me. It was so kind of them.
This is so nice Helen :) :)
Someone once randomly taped a £5 note to my bike with a lovely note wishing me a good day and asking me to pay kindness forward when I next could whilst it was parked outside in London. It wasn’t the money that made the difference just the fact someone went out of their way to do something entirely nice for a random stranger that they never met - they were gone when I arrived so I suspect they never saw the results of their own good work.
aww MAN, that's a lovely one - thank you for sharing Claire!