Why my body is my best friend
and why I love her (which feels like a radical thing to say)
Hi! This is Leyla from A Day Well Spent, a newsletter seeking pathways to more purposeful living.
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Allow me to explain with lichen
The frilly, lacey lichen we see growing on rock faces and tree bark are not organisms in their own right. They are in fact a combination of a fungus and an algae; lichen exist because of a symbiotic alliance between the two.
The algae photosynthesises sunlight to create sugars which feed the fungi. And the fungi capture moisture and protect the environment which allows the algae to thrive.
If one player is absent, the lichen cannot exist.
Both parties benefit from the relationship. The fungi and the algae are best buds living in each other’s pockets, helping the other to flourish. Whilst they are independent organisms, together they create a new entity greater than the sum of its parts, the lichen.
The lessons we can learn from nature are many and understanding lichen has been a key one for me. Because it is through this lens of reciprocity between the algae and the fungi, that I view the relationship between the three elements that make up my existence.
I am the lichen. I am the product of a symbiotic relationship between my mind, my body and my spirit.
The three squabbling siblings of mind, body and spirit
Whilst I view my mind, body and spirit as separate components of the whole of me, often competing for attention like a trio of squabbling siblings, none of them can exist in this world as we know it independently.
Despite their sometimes clashing personalities and drive for autonomy from the others, the three of them love each other deeply. And they are inseparable.
I see my spirit as the eldest of the siblings. It likes to do its own thing. It occupies itself in a different plane, a formless energy above me and surrounding me, gently sweeping me in directions of good guidance. It is always present and protective.
Then there is my mind and my body. These both feel closer, more familiar. I know these guys well.
The voice you are reading now, the I writing this, this is my mind. My mind is me. When I speak, I speak my mind. When I think, it happens in my mind. As Buddha says, ‘the mind is everything’. My mind is the essence of me as I know it.
And my body? Well, my body is my best friend.
In the same way I trust a good friend to have my best interests at heart, so do I trust that my body is always looking out for me.
For it is my body that allows me to experience this staggering world. To hear the dawn chorus, to pick out the backlit silvery strand of spider’s silk, to plunge my hand into a bag of pulses Amelie style, to laugh and cry and live and love.
And what does my body ask for in return for such riches? Not much. Just that I acknowledge it and care for it back. With nourishment, movement, fresh air, rest, sunshine and peace.
The infinite wisdom of our bodies, plus welcome guests
This best friend of mine, my body – she knows stuff (she’s a she).
I don’t need to impart a shred of instruction or scientific knowledge for her to just get on with doing what she does best, which is being unfathomably, mind-bendingly extraordinary.
My body is wise beyond the very limited comprehension of my mind. She just knows what to do in any and all situations.
Nicked your finger? Fret not, I’ll just start clumping some cells together to form a clot to prevent any further blood loss. A bit chilly? Don’t worry, I’ll make you shiver in an effort to generate heat to keep us as close to 37C as possible. One too many drinks last night? I’ve got you, by the end of today our kidneys will have filtered our entire blood supply at least 30 times.
And perhaps it’s not all that odd thinking of my body as a separate entity to me, yet still very much a part of me.
Because only one in ten cells in our bodies are actually human. Of the 100 trillion cells that make up our physical form, the majority of them are microorganisms such as bacteria and viruses.1
Where we end and our guests begin is a blurred boundary. It’s another example of a symbiotic relationship in nature; if either my human cells or non-human cells were absent, I would not be here.
We sometimes give our bodies a hard time
We berate them, chastise them and hide them. We ignore them, curse them, make fun of them, complain about them and try to forget they even exist. We say we hate them (our bodies are listening, you know). We even poison them. What way is that to treat an old friend?
And so in times of sickness, we feel as though our bodies have failed us. We feel betrayed by them. But what is sickness and what is health?
According to Ayurvedic medicine practiced for over 3000 years, health is not simply the absence of disease. It is when our mind, body and spirit are in harmony and in balance.
Whilst genetics and other predetermined factors play a role, the state of our health is largely up to us2. Every hour of every day – through the lifestyles we lead, the environments we occupy, the food we eat, and more – we make choices that either contribute to our health or contribute to illness.
For the times we get sick, can we hand on heart say we had been looking after our bodies and making the right choices for them?
Maybe we were burning the candle at both ends, eating crappy food, drinking too much, not moving, barely going outside or getting insufficient sleep. If I let any one of these factors slide, I soon feel the detrimental effects on my body which then weakens the defences of my immune system.
Should I ever be unaware of my lapse in care, my best friend will let me know about her feelings of neglect loud and clear — by getting sick. I might feel annoyed, how inconvenient of her. But did my body really have a choice?
It’s often only once we are bedridden do we finally stop to listen to what our bodies have probably been trying to tell us for weeks, months, years – you need to treat me better.
Our bodies are doing the best they can with the tools they’ve been given
It is also in times of sickness that I am often most in awe of my body.
The last time I had a cold (November 2022 — here are my tips on how to not catch a cold), it was ghastly. But during that week of sleeping upright on the sofa coughing my guts up, I couldn’t help but think — isn’t this amazing?
My body is doing everything within its power to eliminate this virus. It’s working flat out (which is why I feel so tired) to fight this unwanted visitor with all the phlegm and hacking. It’s just getting on with the grizzly task of doing it.
High five, body.
Then there is scary sickness. Sicknesses with words no one ever wants to hear from their doctor.
But did you know, each cell in your body endures tens of thousands of DNA lesions every day. Enzymes are constantly checking DNA strands for signs of cancer and replacing damaged parts.
Which means, it’s quite likely your body has already fought cancerous cells — and won — without you even knowing about it.
Give me another high five, body.
Seeing into my heart
A few years ago I went to the doctor about occasional sensations of my heart skipping a beat (they turned out to be harmless and common ectopic beats). As part of the investigations, a radiologist took an ultrasound of my heart.
I remember lying on the bed, looking in amazement at the grainy black and white screen. I could make out the valves opening and closing, shadowy movements of the chambers filling and emptying with blood. It was such an emotional experience that it almost brought me to tears.
Here was this organ of mine – one of so many – that had worked tirelessly from before I was even born, to keep me vital and experiencing this world. It has never stopped, never even taken a break, never complained. Its work is relentless, dedicated and so often, thankless.
How could I ever knowingly subject it to any harm? My overwhelming feeling when looking at this rhythmically pulsating miracle of a thing, was of gratitude and a desire to protect it forever.
Along with my lungs that allow me to breathe, my liver that detoxifies my blood, my muscles that enable me to walk down the street with big strides on my own two feet. And every other part of me. I am a person-shaped tapestry of endless miracles.
The human body works far too quietly for all the complexities inherent within itself. The numbers at play baffle the mind, like making 3.8 million new cells every second.
And I don’t even have to ask it to do that. My body just does it! Because it knows what’s best for me.
I mean, wow. If that isn’t unconditional love, I don’t know what is.
And so, this is a public thank you to my body
For always having my best interests at heart. For working day and night with an incalculable number of processes and systems and reactions that keep me alive and healthy, the vast majority of which I will never have any knowledge of.
I think you are amazing and I am in awe of your infinite wisdom. I promise to be good to you and look after you to the best of my knowledge and ability. To help you stay strong and resilient. And most of all, to cherish you and be grateful for all you do for me every day.
I love my body, it is my partner in crime within this thing called life. In the same way the lichen on the tree would simply not exist without the fungi or the algae, I would be nothing without my best friend, my body.